The first thing that is taught when getting a teaching credential is classroom management. Also known as classroom discipline it is a very important facet of school. Without organization, structure and behavior modification, there can be no learning of the actual subjects. And as a mom, I feel you can use many of the techniques of classroom discipline for 30 plus kids for your own 1 plus kids. And I hope you use this classroom management technique at home.
The beauty of it is that you don’t have to use it with just your kids. Because it also works great with your partner.
Teachers Don’t Smile Until Christmas
The first and most important strategy to learn as a teacher is how to gain control over your classroom’s behavior. Techniques such as setting rules and creating routines and structures are part of the basic foundation.
Furthermore, there is a saying they used as advice for all rookie teachers. “Don’t smile until Christmas“. Supposedly, this instilled some sort of fear in the students. After all, an unsmiling teacher is not to be messed with.
However, I disagree with this philosophy. I believe you can still gain respect while at the same time be likable in the eyes of your students.
And it’s funny how much I learned teaching 30 plus kids about child behavior and discipline. What’s more important is how much of that can be applied to motherhood.
Use This Classroom Management Technique at Home
Now that my daughter is of preschool age I find myself losing patience with some of her behaviors. I think the reason I do this is because I expect more out of her then I used to as a baby/infant./toddler. Maybe it’s because she’s using full sentences and can figure things out now. She has an opinion and is acting more defiant than ever.
Whatever the reason, I’m starting to have to correct more of her behavior. And the way I’m doing it sounds more like a reprimand.
Much like when correcting (reprimanding) a classroom full of kids.
My first major reprimand to a classroom of (unruly) 1st grade students might have sounded a bit impatient. However my master teacher gave me a great technique to use when and if reprimanding.
She said to always give 3- 5 compliments to one reprimand.
Examples of this Technique
For instance, if you tell your toddler, “Stop jumping on the bed! You might fall off and bump your head!” (Much like the little monkeys).
So the toddler knows you don’t like that behavior. You might have even said it impatiently or harshly (especially if it’s a repeated request).
Next, start to find behaviors or attributes you like. And just start complimenting. This will (hopefully) reinforce good behavior while decreasing the behavior you don’t want.
So in that example, you might say. “Oh thank you for listening. I like the way you stopped immediately. And look how nice your bed looks. Nice job keeping it neat! Also, I love how neat your whole room looks!”.
You get the picture.
It helps if the compliments are related to the reprimand like in the example.
Using this Technique With Your Husband/Partner
Now I don’t want to say you reprimand your husband/partner. But we all have been there where maybe patience is thin and you might “criticize” behavior. Or for lack of a better word “nag”.
You can apply this technique by remembering the 3-5 compliment rule. After one critique aimed at your partner, you can follow up with 3-5 compliments. Once again the same principles apply. You are trying to lessen the unwanted behavior while increasing the behavior you like.
Furthermore, I feel this also makes you focus on not just the bad stuff with your partner. This might be the more important aspect. Focus on finding and acknowledging the good things your partner does as well.
Remember 2 Savor every moment…And find the beauty and goodness even in the midst of the bad.
